For the love of the night
by brokenbohemian
Summary: There comes a point in every person’s life when they need to make a decision; Between the one you promised to love forever and the one you already do. Lily loved James, there was no question about that, but she was in-love with Sirius. SiriusXLilyXJames
1. Chapter 1

Remus watched bitter sweetly as Harry cradled Hermione in is arms as they swayed softly to the music, Hermione looking elegant in a simple white silk gown and Harry looking quite dashing in the traditional tuxedo. As he watched them, Remus couldn't help but think back twenty-five years to another pair of best friends turned young lovers whose torrid love affair ended before it had a fair start, and back to the three people who never really had the chance to live the lives that they deserved.

**Twenty-Five Years Earlier **

There comes a point in every person's life when they need to make a decision that will affect the rest of their lives in an irrevocable manner. A decision between what you know you need and what society tells you, you want. Between the one you promised to love forever and the one you already do.

Lily Evans heart was conflicted; torn between two extremely different types of love, both powerful in there own way, both unwilling to free her heart.

Lily sighed in irritation as she stared out her dormitory window, her blanket wrapped tightly around her, shielding her naked form from the cool night wind. It was close to one o'clock in the morning and the annual Christmas ball had ended a little over an hour and a half ago.

She and Sirius had returned to the Head's Dormitory as quickly as they could after the ball to start celebrating their Christmas vacation without James or Remus. It would be their first and most likely only Christmas together.

Lily's body shuttered in pleasure at the memory of making love with Sirius merely an hour before. They had walked as calmly as they could back to the dormitory that Lily shared with Remus, as not to attract suspicion. However secretive they were being, Sirius wouldn't let Lily go a second without letting her know that she was on his mind. Knowing glances across the Great Hall, brushes of his hand or other body part up against hers, gently as he passed her, or grabbing her hand and giving it a quick squeeze before moving away, showed Lily that she really was on his mind all the time. It wasn't until they entered the dormitory and the door was firmly shut, that Sirius pushed Lily up against the door, hands fisted in her long auburn hair, mouth fiercely attacking hers, that he began to show her just how much he loved her.

Every time she and Sirius made love, Lily felt as though she was complete. Unlike James, who was always so unsure of himself when they made love, Sirius was confident, bold and new exactly what she wanted and how to fulfill her. James never took the time to get to know her body and was in and out before Lily could even bat an eyelash.

Lily was overcome with guilt as she thought about how James was spending Christmas alone with his family and how she lied to him to be with Sirius.

Lily loved James, there was no question about that, but she was in-love with Sirius. Somehow over the past two years her love for James went from a passion-filled love of extreme want and need, to a comfortable, love that Lily would feel for a brother or a close friend, not a boyfriend. An in those two years Lily found herself being drawn to the mysterious and unpredictable Sirius Black. He infuriated her and they were constantly at each others throats. However, in that time the hatred they felt for each other turned into a secret understanding and a mutual longing to be as close to one another has humanly possible.

Lily was brought out of her silent contemplation by the sound of a low, guttural growl from the man that lay in her bed. She turned around in time to see a naked Sirius stretch out in all of his glory, hands stretched out above his head, as he sighed in contentment. However, his state of contentment quickly vanished as he felt around Lily's side of the bed for his mate and all that he was met with was the cold satin sheets. He let out of a sigh of relief as he turned towards the window, connecting with her beautiful green eyes and giving her a lazy smile.

"Luv," Sirius drawled in his deep, husky guttural voice that was laced with sleep, as he got out of bed and made his way over to her. "I thought we agreed that the number one rule, in fact the only rule of this vacation was to not leave the bed…_ever._" He finished with a sleepy smiled as he wrapped his strong arms around her and rested his head in the crook of her neck, rubbing his nose affectionately against the underside of her chin.

Lily just smiled as she allowed herself to be engulfed in his warm embrace. "It's such a lovely night, isn't it?" Lily commented softly as she continued to stare out the window, counting the stars and making a wish on each one she counted.

"It's even lovelier because I'm spending it with you," He replied in a soft tone as he peppered her neck with kisses.

"Wow, smooth Casanova," Lily scolded teasingly as she pulled away from her love and lead him away from the window. "Come on, let's go to bed."

"Yes Ma'am." Sirius mock saluted before dropping the facade and flopping down tiredly onto her bed.

"Oh your so over dramatic Siri," Lily giggled as she climbed into bed after him.

"Yea, but you love me for it," he replied with a lazy smile, "Come here luv," he whispered as he pulled Lily closer to him so that she was pressed snuggly against his side.

_**The Next Morning**_

Lily awoke to the sound of Sirius snoring beside her. Giggling to herself, Lilly turned towards his sleeping form, hoping to be able to watch him peacefully sleep for a few moments. _He really is perfect,_ Lily thought with a smile as she reached out and traced the contours of his neck and jaw before allowing her fingers to come up and run them gently through his soft, dark hair.

"Lils," Sirius drawled, eyes still glued shut, "if you wanted to drawl over my perfectly delectable body, you could at least have the decency to do it when I'm awake." He finished as he grabbed her arm and pulled her roughly on top of him before planting a kiss on her lips.

Lily tried to hide her blush as she snuggled closer into his side, ignoring his statement and choosing instead to pepper his side with kisses. "I think we should have a picnic today." Lily said nonchalantly from Sirius's side as she continued to draw random patterns on his chest.

"The only way I am freezing my ass off by having a picnic outside, on _Christmas,_ is if you promise to warm it up later." Sirius drawled, his statement laced with innuendo, as he smirk down at her.

"I am not even dignifying that with a response Siri." Lily stated simply as she looked up at him. Sirius just barked out a laugh in response. Lily was always fascinated by the way, Sirius laughed; the way his steely gray eyes lit up just before he threw his head back and barked out a laugh so loud and contagious that it made everyone else join in as well. Lily just laughed along with him as she pushed some of his long, unruly hair out of his face.

"Maybe we can have it inside," Lily thought, "I know that kind of defeats the purpose of a regular picnic, but we can have it in the Head's Common Room, steal some food from the kitchen, and sit by the fire. I could be just as romantic as having it outside."

"I concern. Give me twenty minutes to shower and I'll go grab us some food while you get ready." Sirius responded before giving her a chaste kiss and hoping out of bed to go shower and change in Gryffindor Tower.

_**One Hour Later**_

Lily and Sirius lay contently next to the fire, neither speaking, just enjoying the other's company and the delicious food they had just eaten.

"Mm, do you know what I _love_ about chocolate?" Lily stated from her spot by the fire as she slowly devoured her third chocolate bar that day.

"What?" Sirius replied nonchalantly from his spot on the floor, cradled over a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"The fact that it is just so delicious," Lily purred as she licked her fingers, trying to enjoy the last of the chocolate that were on her fingers. "There isn't any other candy that is as sweet and fulfilling as _chocolate."_ Lily finished with a content smile on her face.

Sirius stopped what he was doing and looked up at Lily through strands of his long, jet-black hair, smirk planted on his face. "Wow, hold up Lils, and don't get all excited over chocolate. I mean I know its great, but I didn't think that it was orgasmic."

Lily just smiled at her young lover before reaching out and taking his hand before pulling him towards her. "You know, a person's favorite candy can say a lot about their personalities." Lily said as Sirius took her hands and placed them above her head, before leaning over and placing sweet kisses down her neck. "Really?" He mumbled while continuing his movements, wisps of his hair reaching down and tickling Lily's face.

"Mmmhmm," Lily hummed as she tilted her neck to give Sirius more room. 'For instance, you are exactly like a box of Bertie Bott's Ever Flavor Beans."

Sirius stopped his movements at once and tilted his head so that he was staring at her in the eyes, his brow knit in utter confusion. "How so?"

"Welll," Lily started, letting the word roll off her tongue, "You're a mystery," She said simply, as she pushed a piece of hair out of his face, "I never know what I am going to get with you. Sometimes you can be down right nasty to everyone, even those you love, like a bogie flavored one. Both most of the time you are sweet," She kissed his forehead, "And caring," She placed another on his left cheek, "And down right romantic like today," Placing a final one of his right cheek, "And you remind me of the cherry beans." Lily finished as though it were the most obvious thing in the world as she stared up at a bemused Sirius.

"Well if I am a bean, then you are definitely chocolate." Sirius replied as he bent his head down to kiss her firmly on the lips.

"How so Siri?"

"Because you are sweet," He said nibbling on her neck, "And sexy," He bit her earlobe, "And I could devour you all day," He finished before fisting his hands in her hair and bringing his lips down to meet hers.

"Cheeky," Was all Lily could say before Sirius's lips met hers in a fiery embrace once more.


	2. Christmas time is for lovers

Christmas Time is for Lovers

Christmas Time is for Lovers 

"You know Lil, I never did give you your Christmas present," Sirius drawled as he pulled his young lover close to him.

"You mean what we just did wasn't my gift?" Lily replied coyly as she stroked the hair on his chest.

"Sadly no…even though it was quite incredible if I don't say so my self," Sirius replied with a smug smirk before untangling his weak body from Lily's and walking over to his pants that were discarded haphazardly on the floor. He rummaged around in his pockets for a few moments before picking up a small parcel and enlarging it to normal size before presenting it to Lily.

"It's not much," He started with a shrug, "But it means a lot to me and you're the only one I want to have it." He tentively shoved a small wrapped parasol into Lily's hands, his eyes not meeting hers but rather focusing on the threads of the golden comforter.

Lily tenderly took the wrapped package into her hands and studied it for a moment, moving it in her hands and examining it from all angles. She gently tugged at the green bow so that it slackened and allowed her to pull it off the silver wrapping paper. The silver wrapping paper fell away revealing a small, velvet box that was unmistakably a ring box.

"Sirius," Lily commented as she stared wide-eyed up at her crazed lover.

"Just open it," Sirius pleaded as he pushed the ring box toward her skeptical eyes and silently pleaded with her to put him out of his misery and just open it already.

"Alright," Lily sighed as she looked at him skeptically before taking the box into her hands. She knew that if she opened this, that it would certainly change the whole dynamic of their relationship and that after this there will be no going back.

Gently lifting up the lid, Lily gasped at the sight before her. Inside the ring box was a delicate, silver antique claddagh ring with a black jewel sitting in the middle of the heart. Lily looked back and forth between her lover and the gift, guilt running ramped threw her beautiful orbs.

It wasn't that Lily didn't like the gift, she loved it, but she also knew that she didn't deserve it.

"Sirius, I cant," Lily said softly, breathing ragged as her brows furrowed as she willed herself not to cry. "It'll only make it harder in the end."

That last sentence that was emanated out of Lily's mouth hit Sirius like the killing curse. He always new that it would come down to this, he'd be a fool not to, but he just didn't think that it would be this soon.

"Lils, just listen to me." He began as he climb onto the bed, taking the spot next to her. "I know you are with James and that in the end it probably will always be him."

Lily started to protest but Sirius put a stop to it with one look in her direction. "I may not be as intelligent as you but I am by no means a dumb git. You and I both love James too much to hurt him by breaking his heart." Both he and Lily smiled bitterly at this.

"But, in spite of all of this, you must know how I feel. I _need_ you to know how I feel." Sirius croaked out, desperation lacing his every word. Tears were coming now, he could feel them, and a renewed sense of desperation hit him as he clasped tightly onto her hands. "I'm yours Lily, in every way a person can be to another, I am yours." Sirius said with a sad, knowing smile as he nuzzled the soft curve of her pale neck. "Where it please?" he continued as she cupped her face in his large hand, moving her face so that they were looking at each other in the eye. "James doesn't know it exists, and the selfish part of me needs to know that some part of your heart will love me, even if it just a tiny part, when this all ends and you go back to James. To remind us of what we had and what it is never possible for us to achieve."

By this point tears were flowing freely out of Lily's beautiful emerald eyes as she nodded her head slowly, accepting Sirius's offer, allowing him to take the ring from the box, and slide it onto her finger. Once the ring was on, Lily gently cupped Sirius's face and pulled him into a slow, lingering kiss. As her lips moved slowly against his, she thought about how effortlessly she had given her self to him and about just how much of her heart he didn't realize that he had.

"I love you Siri," Lily whispered as she snuggled into his jet-black hair.

"And I love you my Lily-flower," He ever so softly whispered, the words becoming lost in her silky red locks. Sirius slowly slid out of bed and languidly strode back over to his pants. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out an identical black velvet ring box. Opening the box, he pulled out an identical silver ring and slipped in onto his own finger.

Sliding down the bed, Sirius wrapped his arms around Lily and pulled her close to him. He was no fool, he knew that this fairytale he was living was going to have to stop sooner rather than later, and in the very near future he was going to wake up and realize that he was alone.

After a pregnant pause, Sirius glanced down at her, "You know there's a story to these rings."

"Really," Lily questioned with excitement in her eyes. She always loved things with a history.

"Yea, they were my grandfathers," Sirius said with a sigh. Sirius Black Sr. was the only member of his family who had ever really loved him and accepted him for who he was. He was too old to care about the war or Voldermort, and thought that the rift between purebloods and muggle borns was ludicrous. Needless to say, he wasn't liked by any of the other Black members except Sirius. Sirius agreed with him on almost every issue, and looked up to him for everything, especially on how to treat the muggle borns. To both of them a wizard was a wizard no matter whom you were born too.

"What do you mean were?"

"Well…" Sirius began, dragging out the word, "He gave them to me shortly before he died. Said that I was the 'only true honorable Black,'" he continued doing his best interpretation of a haughty northern British accent, scrunching his nose as he did so. "Said that I should give them to my true love, so that I may achieve the happiness that he was never allowed to have." Sirius finished, obviously sobering up, as he absentmindedly fiddled his own ring.

"What happened to his love Siri?" Lily questioned tentatively, almost afraid to know the answer. Lily gently stroked up and down his arms, just barely touching him with the tips of her fingers. This continued motion combined with soft whispers of encouragement, Sirius was able to push down the lump in his throat and continue.

"She died," Sirius said softly, shutting his eyes and envisioning the hurt that his grandfather must have gone through as he watched his first love slowly drift away in his arms. "Not a year into their marriage. I remember when my grandfather used to think about her, you could always tell," Sirius said with a sad smile as he thought fondly of his grandfather. "He would adopt this bittersweet, glossy look in his eye as he stared off into no-where. As if he was seeing something so remarkably beautiful that it brought tears to his eyes. I was always jealous because I never saw what he was seeing. He told me that only when I was truly in-love could I uncover that look." Sirius said as his eyes bore into Lily, letting her know without words that he had found what he was looking for in those emerald gems of hers. "He would do anything with her, without question; that's how selfless his love was for her. She was half-muggle so when they went to get the wedding rings, she asked for this inscription to be engraved on the back." Sirius took off his ring so that he could show Lily what he meant. On the underside of both their rings bore the inscription, _I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine._

Later that night when Sirius was fast asleep Lily silently slipped out of the soft red sheets and made her way back over to the window. So many nights were spent sitting on this very windowsill over the last seven years and Lily hated to think about how it was all going to end very soon. They were graduating in a few months and out into the wizarding world, where the threat of the Dark Lord was even more present than it was behind the protective walls of Hogwarts.

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

Isolde played with a long wavy lock as she watched Remus intently from her spot up against the bathroom door. Her green eyes swam with concern as she watched Remus stare anxiously out the window while repeatedly running a hand through his sandy locks. He had been sitting there for a better part of an hour and Isolde was starting to worry. Isolde sauntered over to where Remus was sitting and sat down on the soft bed without a word, just a worried look etched across her soft features.

Remus smiled gratefully at his love as he felt her small, delicate hands move up his aching back in the most soothing manner. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, his body ached. He hadn't slept or eaten since Sirius owled him saying that he planned on giving Lily the eternity ring. As much as Remus loved Sirius, he couldn't help but think that he was being a foolish and incredibly selfish git for what he was doing. Lily belonged with and quite frankly _too_ James. The last thing Remus wanted to do was sound barbaric but it seemed perfectly clear to him and everyone else in Hogwarts (with the exception of Padfoot) that Lily and James were destined for one another. Originally when Sirius approached him three months ago and told him that he was having a secret affair with Lily, Remus pushed it aside chalking it up to a one time deal.

Although Sirius never brought it up again, Remus began to watch. He watched the secret side glances that they would give each other when they swore no one was looking. The soft brushes of the hands and the promises of something more later; Remus caught it all. Remus let it all happen in the beginning, after all it wasn't supposed to be anything serious and he expected it to be over in a few short weeks, a mistake realized, no harm, no foul. But it didn't stop, it only progressed into something deeper and more meaningful then James and Lily, which concerned Remus more and more with every passing day.

"Don't they see what they are doing?" Remus questioned passionately to no one in particular, "they are going to ruin everything Isolde, everything in an instant. All that will be left with be three shattered hearts, a dozen or so broken friendships and a pile of ash on the ground of all the bridges that will be burned."


End file.
